Author: kmanning251

Just some random thoughts on things I like about being a woman and things I don’t like.

LIKE:

open toe sandals

manicures

bright blue toenails

cleavage

blow outs

perfume

lipstick

spaghetti strap dresses

growing a human being inside me

make-up

guys holding doors open for me

my best girlfriends

crying at movies

being someone’s mom

the intense love I feel being a mom

handbags, all handbags

climbing into bed w/ clean sheets and freshly shaved legs

lotions, potions and creams

no one gives you a hard time for drinking chick beer

curves

high heels

DISLIKE:

my period

pushing a human being out of my body

being pregnant

shaving/waxing

not always getting the same respect as a man

middle aged men deciding what I can and can’t do with my body

the pressure to always look good

double standards

I have a good friend who is my age but her daughter is only seven. My kids are 20 and 17 so you would think our parenting experiences would be very different. And they are, but I’ve realized that with parenting it’s really just a series of the same emotions attached to different situations.

For example the emotions you have as you drop your child off at kindergarten are the same ones you have dropping him off at college for the first time. Is he ready for this? Is he mature enough? Can he navigate all of  this without me there to guide him? Will he meet decent kids to be friends with? Will he be happy and excited to learn? Of course there are a few different worries too…Will he choke on the grapes I packed him for snack vs. Will he choke on his own vomit?

But you get the idea…

Your kid learning to ride a two-wheel bike for the first time is as exciting as when they get their license. In both situations they have complete sense of pride and accomplishment, just like you do.

When they are being a whiny, manipulative pain in the ass, brat it doesn’t matter if they’re if they’re six or sixteen. Your reaction is the same. I’m smarter than you. I’m not putting up with this shit and I’m really not that crazy about you right now.

And no matter what age, if you mess with my kid or in some way cause him/her pain…I will kill you. They are the only two people on the planet that I would kill for or die for. There is nothing more precious to me.

My mother always says,  “Don’t worry, you only have to worry about them till you’re dead.” I use to think she was being a little dramatic.

But I’m almost 21 years into this parenting thing and I see no end in sight.

I recently had a friendship end. Of course this happens sometimes, people drift apart or circumstances change. But this relationship was ended on purpose. I didn’t see it coming and it was ugly and hurtful. I’ve never had this happen before. I’d, honestly, never had someone treat me that way. I’ve known this person since college and although we didn’t see each other often, when we did, we enjoyed each other’s company and got along really well.

I have no trouble standing up for myself or telling someone who has disrespected me to fuck off. I just didn’t expect to have to do it with him. I’m not going to say it wasn’t upsetting, of course it was. But what I realized was, that his behavior was showing me his true colors. I just hadn’t seen it in action before. The misunderstanding, the lack of mature discussion…and the loss were all his. Not mine.

Real friends respect you and value your relationship. Actually, never mind friends, just decent people respect each other. And most mature adults are able to disagree or even argue and still maintain their relationships.

It was hard for me to process someone I thought was a friend acting so badly. But when someone shows you their real self, believe them.

Friday 3/10/17

So we are now more than half way done with the 2017 Opens. Note: **Sheila and I have not died.

For 17.2  we apparently misread the workout which resulted in me submitting a score that was double what my actual score should have been.(oops) The workout was really hard. I actually felt nauseous, but I got through 4 rounds and was feeling pretty happy.

Then I got a very sweet text from Sara saying “Um, How many rounds did you get in the workout? I think your score may be wrong.” I’m sure she was thinking I know this is wrong, there is no fucking way you got 140 reps! She, of course, is too nice to ever say that tho. 😉 As it turns out, Sheila and I  never switched from hanging knee raises to pull ups. So……my real score was 78, which is really kinda close to 140 🙂

And that brings us to today. Workout #3. The thing was written like some secret NASA scientific formula! It took him longer to write it out than it took me to do the damn thing.

But…something big happened today. Sheila and I did the Open workout with other people! Whaaaat? Admittedly, it was by accident, but still. We went to the Wood planning to do it in the corner by ourselves while everyone else took class. But surprise, the whole class was doing 17.3…together.

I wasn’t happy. I immediately felt anxious and uncomfortable. But the real surprise was that we actually liked doing it with the group. It was a lot of fun! And guess what? No one cares what wts we use or if we do scaled or RX. or how many rounds we get.  Hmmmm…. 🙂

We’re planning to do the last 3 with the Friday morning group.

 

3/7/17

I’m a pretty positive, upbeat person. I appreciate how blessed I am and I generally  look at things with a “cup half full” attitude. But lately it seems like everywhere you turn there is an article or  podcast asking “Are you happy enough?” According to these “news features” if you are not spontaneously cart wheeling on a daily basis something is wrong with you.

Like  I said, I’m a happy person. Am I happy every minute of every day? Of course not. No one is and if they say they are, they are lying. And newsflash….we’re not suppose to be happy all the time.

You know the articles I’m talking about….Your job should fill you with joy and contentment each day. Your children should be curing cancer while digging wells to bring clean water to third world countries. You should do yoga daily and eat only organic food. You should have sex 17 times a week and look like a super model……If all of this isn’t your life…..Are you really happy?

The answer. Yes. Everyone is doing the best they can, to be the best they can. We do what we can to make ourselves happy and content and we deal with our shit the best we can.

And for most of us it works out just fine. Embrace the hell out of the times when you are happy and things are going well. And when you’re feeling unhappy, know that it passes.

Friday 3/3/17

Jake was home this weekend. Well he was home for a few hours before he met up w/ friends and headed to UMASS Amherst for something called the Blarney Blast. I know it sounds like a 3 day drunk-fest…but, I’m pretty sure it’s actually an Irish cultural festival. You know, a documentary on the potato famine, a nice corn beef and cabbage dinner followed by a raucous Irish step dancing show.  😉

When I was telling someone about this, they responded w/ “you’re just jealous.” Damn right I’m jealous! Ever since we started this whole college process a few years ago, I’ve been saying college is wasted on the young. They don’t appreciate how really great it is.

And what is this “It prepares you for the real world” bullshit?? I don’t know about you….but my real world is nothing like being at college. In my real world I don’t get to attend class/work for only a couple of hours a day. In my real world I don’t get to live in a cute apartment w/ all my besties. In my real world I don’t get to drink 4 nights a week and have sex with random people whenever I want. And the biggest bummer, in my real world, there is no quad. Colleges always have a quad where you can hang out and get some sun while you watch guys with no shirts play Frisbee. All while pretending to be studying.

Yup, college is nothing like the real world. Which is what makes it so amazing and  why it is wasted on the young. 🙂

2/26/17

The older I get, the more I realize what a crucial role friends play in my life. Real friends, people that you know really love you, are a gift. As an adult you have different kinds of friends. All equally important because you and them have shared experiences and experiences are what bond humans.

I have a group of 6 girls that I have literally known and been friends with since we were kids. These girls know my history. The good, the bad and the ugly. They have been with me through births and deaths and have helped shape me and make me the person I am today. I know I could call them and say I need everyone here right now and they would come. I know this, because I’ve made that call.

Our couple friends have watched my children grow up. They have in many ways helped parent them. These are people that give my kids a hug when they see them. People that love them almost as much as I do.

There are the friends you don’t see often, but you know when you do see them, you’re going to really enjoy yourself. You know you can send that person a funny text and they’ll be happy to hear from you.

And then there is your ride or die friend. The person you do the crazy, fun stuff with you. The person that knows your secrets and has your back. The person that never judges and understands even when you’re not sure you even do.

And finally, there are all the other friends. People you maybe don’t hang out with all the time, but you genuinely enjoy them. You think they are interesting or funny or a really great story teller. You appreciate when they reach out to you and you try to do the same, because you know you’ll have fun. These are the people that I very often want to become closer friends with.

I’m blessed to have several groups of friends. But the thing about friends is quality is far more important than quantity.

2/21/17

Men and woman are so different. (insert penis/vagina joke here). I realize this statement is by no means a huge revelation to anyone over the age of ten. 99.999% of the time men and women think and feel very differently. We can look at, or even have the exact same experience and still view it and feel it in two completely different ways.

Don’t get me wrong. I love men. I enjoy being around men. They’re entertaining and fun and funny. And part of that appeal is that they ARE so different. I love being a woman (the shoe options alone make it better than being a man). But I have to admit, sometimes I envy a man’s ability to keep life simpler.

My unscientific data shows several things. Men seem to worry far less than women. They take things one day at a time and very rarely have the impulse to solve potential problems a decade in advance like I do.

Men hardly ever, and by hardly ever, I mean NEVER ever feel the need to discuss an argument/issue. It’s over. Let it go. Move on. Stop talking about it. Personally, this is a REALLY hard one for me. I’m a talker/explainer/make sure we’re on the same page-er!

Finally, groups of male friends have no filter. I am very lucky to have some really close girlfriends. We are always honest with each other but we have tact and we buffer things. Not true with men. In just the last month or so, I’ve actually heard the following comments exchanged among the guys I know…”Man you got fat.” “Why would she go out with an ugly fuck like you?” “You’re being an asshole. Shut the fuck up.” A woman would never tell another woman that she got fat or was ugly. Guys just say what they’re thinking. Other guys don’t seem to get pissed. Or if they do, they say so and it’s over. (See no need to discuss stuff remark from above).

Sooooo…..from now on, except for the hair, nails, waxing, tanning, shoes, clothes, make-up, life time movies and chick beer….I’m going to try to be more like a man.

#boyshaveapenisgirlshaveavaginaandthatsjustthetipoftheiceburg 😉

2/24/17

If you know anything about Crossfit, you know that starting yesterday for the next 5 weeks it is The Opens. The Opens…two words that evoke a multitude of emotions in crossfit athletes everywhere. For advanced athletes I would imagine they are excited and nervous. They want to do well, advance their standings, maybe even have dreams of going to Regionals. For most athletes it’s a time of excitement and team building, as everyone suffers thru the weekly workout together. For me the emotion was dread, accompanied by a stomach ache. I get very anxious thinking of working out w/ half the gym in heats, having a judge, doing a wkout that is really hard and submitting a score. So, obviously I decided not to participate. It’s just not my thing. Why stress myself out?

Then a guy from the gym, Greg, wrote a really inspiring, it’s a magical time of year, get off your butt, sign up for the Opens and have some fun, post. That, followed by a conversation with Sheila, convinced me that I actually should sign up…..

One of my goals for 2017 was “Who cares?” In other words, be you, don’t be afraid, try new things, fail, learn. Sooooo, today Sheila and I did our first Opens workout. I did it scaled. I didn’t finish. I may end up being last in the whole gym when this over. But who cares? I worked really hard. I was proud of myself and Sheila (who did amazing and almost finished!!). Next step, do it with the crowd on Friday or Saturday. The atmosphere makes me anxious. But after being there (it was exciting) and seeing the all the really cool pictures, I think it might be fun. So Doug if you’re reading this, I’d like my picture with soft lighting and just touch of photo-shopping. 😉

Wednesday 2/15/17

Today was a good day for me at the gym. I let myself get punched in the face. It was a 3 minute AMRAP of 3 cleans, 6 push ups and 9 air squats x5. The RX weight was 95 pounds. That was too heavy for me, so I did 83 pounds. 83 pounds was hard for me and I failed a bunch of reps. But instead of going down in weight and worrying about the number of rounds I completed or what everyone else was doing, I let myself feel uncomfortable. I let myself fail. There were a bunch of reps that I made too and when I did, I felt really good!

I’m sure a lot of people, maybe most people, do this all the time. But for me, today felt really good. Not because I was a Craic rock star, but because I let myself try. I didn’t decide what I could do before even trying it…if that makes sense??

After the workout Marc told me that today I had to work for every lift and that was a better workout (physically and mentally) than playing it safe with a weight I was more comfortable with. This was big for me.

So today, I left the gym happy and feeling good about myself. Yesterday I left hating the place….And so goes a typical week at Craic! Love/Hate…depends on the day 😉 ❤

#fitness #tryharder #craic #lovehate #getpunchedintheface